Free Fallin'...

May 14, 2012 • 39,334 notes • vanessasofiaferreira

It’s amazing what one weekend did for me. Not having to worry about anything or anyone, but just sitting, reflecting and smiling… weird. It was nice to be grounded again, know the important things vs. the unessentials, and the truth vs. fiction. I can’t even explain this feeling, it’s foreign and a little scary to think about me finally finding a place where I can just accept what is and be okay with it. I can’t keep telling myself, “one day it’ll be okay,” when that day can be today, can be right now. Life is so damn short to be worrying about things that I can’t fix and can’t control. It really is out of my hands, in fact it wasn’t in my hands to begin with it, and oddly enough I am okay with that. I am okay with the way my life is going because I know I am ambitious, smart, funny, and totally lovable. It is all about letting the right moment and right time come to you for things to happen. God’s got my back, I knew he’d prevail in the end. Thank you for the beautiful blessings in disguise.

(via you-should-be-here-with-me)

May 12, 2012 • 232 notes • shall-this-url-be-mine

May 12, 2012 • 48,396 notes • zydrateaddiction

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May 12, 2012 • 852 notes • weheartit.com

There comes a point where enough is enough. I’m a good person, I genuinely am, and If you took the time to get to know me you’d understand. Why does it have to be like this? I knew my perceptions were right, that you didn’t like me but when I heard things were okay and that there wouldn’t be drama, I believed it. I’m not here to start drama, I’m sitting her confused as to what I ever did to you personally that made up your mind about me. You could have made more of an effort, and yet, you chose not to. So this isn’t on me, this is about you and your actions. And quite honestly, your friends happiness can be ruined because of you, because I’m not sure if I can stick around if this continues. I won’t be subjected to feeling like this when I never did anything.

(via hereisours)

May 11, 2012

The last time I’ll cry over you.

The last time I’ll let everything be “my fault.”

The last time I’ll pretend to be okay.

The last time I won’t actually be okay.

The last time I’ll let you get the best of me.

The last time I’ll be sad.

The last time I’ll be angry.

The last time I’ll let the memory of us hold me back.

The last time I’ll send you things that let you know I still care.

The last time I’ll hear, “I want you to get over me.”

The last time, the last time…

that the words ‘I Love You’ remind me of you.

The last time.

<3

May 11, 2012

“Here’s a bombshell just for you, turns out i’ve been lying too….”

May 1, 2012

May May Go Away.

‘My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best kind of love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah.’

Why is this so cliche but still relevant to my life? I honestly feel like my whole chest has collapsed in. In some weird way I thought that when I got older breakups would be easier, more mature and more relevant to the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Unfortunately, they’re still the same. Difficult, immature, and hard to handle. Why is it that things like this have to hurt so much? When you give it your everything to have it thrown back in your face. I’ve lost so much in life: people who died, people I love, friends I’ve lost touch with. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but losing things is never easy.

One Art

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

— Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

Elizabeth Bishop

This is one of my favorite poems, mocking how people think it is so easy to lose things… because losing is one of the hardest things humans go through. My faults are just that: I care too much, I invest more than I should sometimes and it’s hard for me to let go. So I guess this is what it is.

Carrie Underwood you got it so right, “I thank God that I didn’t get what I thought I deserved.”

April 30, 2012

Real Talk.

Tonight I sent a text that started out, “I get so wrapped up being angry that sometimes I forget to say these things…” It really got me thinking… Is this what it’s come to? Is that what my life is turning into? I surely don’t want to be the type of person that it takes being angry for so long to finally realize that maybe I am not appreciating things and people the way they should. When I sent that text I cried, not like a huge over dramatic cry, but just one that was enough to make me realize the patterns I’ve gotten myself in. I’ve been so focused on why my life can never go right that sometimes I forget that I’m not the only one with problems. In all my selflessness over the last couple years, focusing on my mom and my friends and my relationships, i realized I needed to start focusing on me… But once I did that, I started being selfish. The hardest part about this is the fact that in my heart I truly know I am not a selfish person. I guess I am in this stage where I want to be selfish and do stuff for me (which is what everyone is telling me to do) , but at the same time it’s hurting my friendships. How can you be a good friend and be selfish? Isn’t it important that we be selfless and put others first?

I guess that’s just something I’ve been struggling with. Trying to put myself first but also wanting to make everyone else happy. Does something like that exist?

April 17, 2012 • 3,231 notes • acr0mantula

Fleeing fast, the wind freeing these feelings
Letting my whole self go.
The adrenaline through my veins
An out of body experience
Watching myself move slowly on through life.
Watching myself drift further into another world.
Lost and do not find,
A mess of a woman in disguise.
Crossing from physical being into invisibleness,
Where there are no thoughts, tears or terror
But just empty hollow bodies that don’t bleed of emotions
By a single thing.
Memories are wiped free.
Forgotten, cold, everlasting life.

(via you-should-be-here-with-me)

April 17, 2012 • 11,059 notes • spn.sr

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(via you-should-be-here-with-me)